Now, uh, phh, phh [sound of exhalation into the mic I think]. Well, for openers... I don't know how to work this machine! I'm just astounded at this machine! This the silliest way I've ever known, of spending the nights alone talking to yourself into an obvious Nazi machine! This is a Red-China-Manchurian Candidate Machine because I can't get anything on tape and when I do record anything I automatically erase it and, and I'm sitting in a room all by myself. Ho! Ho! Boy! And across the room on my library shelf are about thirty-five tapes of shows that I've done for CBS - Hmm Mmm-Hmm! Now in those boxes, mm hh - hold the tapes - my life depends on those and yet I don't know how to work - that's not my business! I was tryna be a singer. I don't know how to read notes - I can't read music and, I don’t, I can't count, too well and I don't know how to work this machine, but, that's the story of my life - you go with it even if you don't know what's going on: keep talking, singing, smiling and... taping. Somebody tell me that this, uh, might be interesting. But I've gotten so involved with this Donathan's Braine machine - tape machine. It should be Johnson and Johnsons Tapes! My wounds I'd like to tape. But I guess I'm tryna get a few thoughts down and then I'm all by myself, uh, as usual, and trying to go straight with myself - now that makes you feel kinda dumb! Uh he-hee-hee-hee. You can’t, I can't [mumbles] I can’t find my glasses - to read the directions. I don't know what thirty-three and a third means. I, It just means out-of-sync to me! And uh, then they got all kinds of, kinda, early [half-laugh] Bronze Josef directions that, uh, I'm not equipped for. I have done - believe me, I have done, - two - what do they call it? - spools of tape of talking. I think I erased the whole thing and just Peggy Lee and myself came on in a rehearsal tape... that played backwards. Oh I wonder if Sid Luft's mother makes these machines. Could be! She made all those machines. She made Sid! She spawned him in the, the uh, Red Seas [mumbles]. But to uh, yeah, let's just think about my trying to be heard. Do you realise how many people have talked about me? written about me? imitated me? told my children that they really know me - they know Judy Garland! My little girl Liza, came home, one day, from school, she was about ten years old and she said "What is this?"... She has a lovely kinda Italian indig-indignation that uh. “Indignity” I should say. Yeah - see I can't read or write or talk too well. But it's all in the machine. Maybe Madison Avenue puts out these machines. Yeah - Webster and Madison. At any rate, Liza, came home from school one day and said, "Uh, what are, what is this nonsense that I always hear at school? that everybody knows You - Judy Garland? Everybody knows Judy, but ah yeah they really know her! Naw, they REALLY know her! They knew her when she lived in Translyvania. They had the house next door and they heard all the, the uhmm insanity of, of, uh, Mama." and Liza looked at me and simply said "Look, I don't know you, Mama and nobody ever will! I never will!" ah, hee, hee, hee, hee. That's my girl. Well we know each other pretty well - I'm rather proud of that. So far I think I'm on a blank tape - I DON'T KNOW! and I might admit defeat at this point - I doubt it. I have a tenacity of a praying mantis! - uh with a little black-Irish witch involved. Let's see if we got anything - hmm? [TURNS OFF THE TAPE MACHINE]